Let me introduce myself.

                My name is Carmelo Gonzalez and I’m a 37-year-old person with Cerebral Palsy. (What is Cerebral Palsy) I developed this condition as a result of an early childhood illness. Cerebral Palsy is a form of brain damage that affects individuals differently. In my case, I have a speech impairment and limited control of my hands, which means that I often require assistance with eating and other basic functions. I am also unable to walk because of problems with balance and muscular weakness. So I get around in a motorized wheelchair.

            I like to dine out, go to Broadway plays and movies, take long walks and go out dancing. You might wonder how I dance in a wheelchair. I do what everyone does – I move my body in rhythm to the music with another person, and when it comes time to spin around, I hit the controls on my power wheelchair and make a full rotation. Sometimes I let my partner sit on my lap and take a spin with me.

            I live alone in New York City have done so for about 15 years now. I moved on my own several months after graduating from Frances Lewis High School in 1988. I rely on Personal Care Attendants for my daily functioning. I employ several attendants to care for me around the clock. I require their assistance to bathe, dress, cook, clean, and accompany me outdoors. While I couldn’t live without them, I sometimes find it very draining that I don’t have a lot of time to myself.

            As a child, I always dreamed of being an actor. One of my oldest fantasies was to be on television. But I didn’t believe I could realize this dream. I never saw disabled people on television, and my speech impairment makes it difficult for people to understand me. But as an adult, I found an acting school called The National Theatre Workshop of the Handicapped. I studied at this school for seven years. I acted in plays and short films. I also appeared in a "60 Minutes" profile of the school. So I succeeded in fulfilling my dream of being on television after all. But I ultimately left the world of acting, because it became increasingly clear that my speech impairment made it impossible for me to get significant and consistent roles. So I decided to go behind the camera and produce films, by joining ConnecTV and becoming one of their segment producers. To learn more about ConnecTV go to http://www.connectv.org.  My first documentary that I produced for them was "One Night Sit", it's about what it is like being disabled and gay.  The documentary won awards and was entered in a few film festivals, as "Picture this... Film Festival" , Iowa City International Documentary Film Festivals , Inside the films of the Trenton Film Festival , and Disability Film Festival 2004  To see a clip of One Night Sit go to  http://www.connectv.org or click One Night Sit. The video file may take time to download depending on your Internet connection so be patient.

            My experience of being disabled has given me a unique perspective on life. It means I have to plan carefully for basic everyday activities. It means I don’t take for granted simple pleasures like eating with friends in a restaurant without my attendant. I have to worry about accessibility and ordering food I can manage to eat on my own. It also means I have no desire to use drugs or alcohol or to introduce into my life the problems they cause. My life has enough difficulties already. I also can’t enter into romantic relationships with the ease that other people can. I have a hard time attracting a mate because many people don’t see a disabled person as an equal partner. Even when I have a prospect, there are difficulties. My home attendants are always around, so it’s hard to get time alone with that person. Although I could ask my attendants to stay home, I feel a certain responsibility to keep them fully employed.

            I'm also a gay man. I came out on December 26, 1991. At first it was hard for my family to accept it, but they're all right with it now.